BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

Some folks look at you real strange saying that you've changed as if after all the adversities you've faced you were suppose to stay the same. This thing we call life I had to rearrange. I didn't and don't do it for the sympathy . I did it for the sake of me and my sanity ❤❤❤

There's a tightness in my chest, feels like my throat is closing in on me , dire need to keep swallowing my saliva , I'm fighting to breathe. I'm suffocating , walls are closing in on me. I'm stuck in time and I can't get out . Trapped in misery and my thoughts. I want to be free , swept off my feet , is that so much to seek???

Sometimes the hardest decision you will ever have to make is the best decision to make. Cry & Pray. Everything happens for a reason. Why does Pain come with the territory of Love , if Love is supposed to make you feel Great? it's hard for me to wrap my head around but i want to. All my life I've fought . I've fought for love , attention , acceptance . You name it , I have fought for it . In the midst of this battle , I tried tremendously hard not to let my wall/guard down because every single time I did, I was betrayed , hurt , and abandoned. Its an indescribable feeling but I'll try my best to describe it to the best of my ability. It felt like they ripped my heart out my chest , repeatedly stomped on it , threw it out and never looked back. No remorse , no hesitation . Just like that . They say never put your trust in man . Well I know why first hand. I always rationalized this pattern of behaviors by saying that , my own father (biological ) walked out and never ...