BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

I must admit it stinks being single during the holiday season . Never thought I'd internalize all this crap as I see couples stroll hand in hand shopping and exchanging gifts , displaying affection publicly . It's sad , to fall victim to such a desperate cliche .  I wonder why we long for relationships during this season ?  "The truth is that I like my life. My job makes me happy nearly every day. I’ve collected a community of friends to keep me connected, grounded, and having fun. I’ve learned to live on my own and enjoy the nights I spend with myself, making things and chatting with long distance friends. I am busy, engaged, and connected. This is not the story of a “desperate” single woman"  And yet… I’m one of the only single people at family functions. The majority of my friends are in committed relationships. My mother expresses her concern for me, specifically as a single person: “I just think you would be happier if you were with someone." I sometimes wor...

In this life , we all face our daily obstacles. Some have it worst than others.  Selling hope to the hopeless Got mouths to feed but can barely make ends meet   As you roam these streets , you debate on whether to wear a cross on your chest or a bullet proof vest  Survival of the fittest but what about the sickest ?  It's more so about who's resilient. An epidemic that needs to be distanced 

Time and time again , you get that late night phone call asking you to come through . You pack an  overnight bag with items to protect your 18 inch weave but not for a second , did you think to protect what's above your knees.  you allow this vicious cycle in hope to Gain his acceptance. Your emotions & instincts are brewing but yet you choose to continue  The best approach was to be as cogent as possible and state your expectations as opposed to laying on your back with such emotional decapitation.  In the near future , here you are yelling; "that dude ain't shit " when the same ain't shit qualities is what attracted you to him in the first place. This is a situation you should have never embraced . Compromising yourself with feelings displaced .   You were content with those late night phone calls when you should have told him in the beginning to go screw himself .  This is the time to assert yourself and wake up from this nightmare you'd like to...

"Once you fall In love with yourself , no one can ever break your heart again . Trust me it's an amazing feeling .. No self  doubt .. " What's already understood doesn't need an explanation  "Love is a language that only actions can speak & understood by open hearts" 

I don't need the acceptance & approval of others but what I do need is for you to not pass judgement.  When the world was on my back and I felt crippled , whom was there to make things simple ?  I don't do this for pity , I do it for the sake of me.  I searched for so long just to find  a piece of my entity.  So do you think I'll let one strip me of my identity ? I think not , you would have to present one hell of a compelling argument to question my stance. Instead why don't you just help enhance ;  I'm a woman , I'm black , I'm young living in a world where we've been dehumanized , chastised , criticized , terrorized, scorned , pummeled , our characters assassinated but yet when I put my foot down ; I'm called everything in the book but QUEEN . Their attempt to beat me to my knees is fruitless quite cowardice if you ask me .  As I adjust my crown , stand on my feet & make this speech . I want you to know that you're worthy & this is...

"Stop trying to be the man and become THE man".......  Men are very simple creatures when you have their full attention . They'll do just about anything to see you smile. A man that wants you won't give you room to question your place In his life , won't make you doubt yourself , will NEVER treat you like a revolving door .  He finds you beautiful when you smile therefore he will make it his duty to make you smile all the time ...  ***A man with a vision understands purpose & will waste no time to make you his . It shouldn't  take 4, 5,6 etc years for him to commit to you or figure out if you're the ONE  ***  If you have to continuously question where you STAND then it's time you have a SEAT 

Dating in the 21st century has got to be the most complicated process ever . As people re-enter the dating world, it's necessary to adapt to new things, new norms and trends etc . The  dating world isn't the only thing that's changed , you have too . Most likely , you don't communicate the same, your priorities have shifted , your values have adjusted. Your thinking process is a little different . So it's only basic common sense to think that , the dating world is not the same as you left it .  Granted re-entering the dating world may  sound scary , it's not as bad as you think.  Give it a shot , go in with ZERO expectations . Expectations on a first date is essentially setting yourself up for failure .  These are some tips that might help prepare you for your attack on the dating scene.  1 , Be open and honest. Honesty is of essence. Don't lower your standards. Communicate your thoughts, standards and values  2, DO not play hard to get . If you're int...

They often know her name  They often see her flame  They often question what they see in her besides her well built frame  They try to reach out to her inner mystery  in hopes to fulfill their curiosity  They often fear their infatuation with high intensity  They often find gratification in this maze like game  They often make the mistake of contemplating whom to blame  When all along , the trail to her roots should have been their.....  AIM 

He says all the right things at the wrong time. when you need him the most; he acts as if you committed a heinous crime. Yet , in the middle of the night , he beats his chest readily to divide and conquer . An art he has "coincidentally" mastered. Last thing on his mind is honoring thy heart . Why would he ? The body is easily accessible , no need to stimulate the mind and soul when you've made it easy for him to stimulate your inner walls. The body is our temple but we have settled to giving out samples. A hurdle we have yet to work hard to trample.   **** It's imperative that, women make their expectations and standards known , the more likely men will be forced to eventually oblige . you cannot expect men to know your expectations if you do not communicate it with them. Unfortunately they're not mind readers, they are action readers . Your actions will prompt them to either rise to the occasion or step aside for someone's who's up  for it as well more q...

In the line of war , there are casualties; same thing goes for love. In the line of love , you go In hoping to come out alive.   you basically pray for the best and anticipate the worst .  The reality is , it can be full of pain. however when it's done right the first time. It can be the greatest accomplishment . A moment of victory & celebration 

There's nothing more dangerous than a scorned woman . "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"  

Now let me tell you a story about a young woman whom lost her crown. All in the name of pleasing some clown We've all met this young lady ; she drops to her knees too fast , falls too hard ,  doesn't listen enough, reacts too slow but believes she's experiencing a natural high. A high she'd like to call "love" . She fell in love with a charming gentleman. She Wholeheartedly believed she'd found her king .  So Here she is investing everything she has & knows including her soul for this newfound load.  Like they say all that glitters isn't gold. she finds herself in a chokehold. A hold that is nothing less of a scold. She's screaming but no one hears her cry out for help . So she continues to live behind a veil .  She's essentially withering away , lost in an unattainable dream. She wants nothing more than to find her self esteem.   An esteem that is struggling to find balance on a beam.  As a woman , I'm here to tell you to redeem your c...