To be broke and broken

As we know social media has plagued our youth like the apocalypse wiping out all sense of reality, humanity , humility , self worth , self value , self respect etc. 

Approximately 7 years ago , I had hit rock bottom. I'm referring to reaching my ultimate low. my self esteem was at an all time low , my weight was at an all time high , my phone was disconnected every month , barely had money for gas to go to work, love life was in shambles, my mental state wasn't the  best either. Muscling through it all seemed practically impossible with each passing day . Let's just say I was broke and broken . So one might ask what did you do ? I looked in the mirror and didn't like what i saw and whom I had become . I don't remember how I got here but by the time I realized it was somewhat too late . The only option I had was to make the decision to give myself 1,000 second chances . There were going to be several adversities , trials and tribulations but giving up , tapping out, letting go was never an option. It is ok to rest but do not quit, it is absolutely ok to press the reset button , it is ok to pause , it is ok to be vulnerable , it is more than okay to be lost, torn, confused. I made the decision to pull myself up and do better. I didn't need anyone's approval , I gave notice. There were a lot of changes that came as a result of that decision. The decision didn't come from a motivational experience or an inspiring teacher. It came from within & it exuded on the outside.  I struggled with my identity, my worth , self esteem , weight ,mental state for a very long time. I didn't want to be there anymore, I didn't want to be a victim anymore , I knew I had to make drastic changes. I was basically bankrupt in every sense of the word. I was bankrupt in trying to hold on to my pride , thinking I was all that and a bag of chips . Too good to seek a helping hand. My pride would leave me broke and broken forever. That's the last thing I wanted . I told myself, I am good enough despite all I'm going through . I was going pull through if it's the last thing I do. I could only play the hand I've been dealt and I had every intention of playing the heck out of that hand. 

You are your own superhero , no one can rescue out of any situation. Only you can only rescue you 

Now, I have a great state job , I can nonChalantly afford vacations and miscellaneous items that I want but don't necessarily need lol, I have an amazing support system, my mental state is a lot better, i am in better shape physically than I was in the previous years. My self esteem/worth is something I no longer compromise. 

I know as women we tend to experience the "not good enough syndrome ". We experience not thin enough , not good enough , not smart enough , not pretty enough , not thick enough etc. If you don't hear it enough , I'm here to tell you that you are more than ENOUGH !!!

My heart cries for the woman that has been through it all , the woman that has thrown in the towel due to all the adversities she's faced. My sister , you deserved to be lauded for the amazingness that you are . You deserve the right to be complex , scared and unfinished . You deserve a space where you can scream , cry , let your hair down & kick your shoes off. You deserve a community around you that will hold you up when you're down. You deserve compassion , respect , understanding , patience & the kind of the love that would make the oceans jealous. You may be unaware that you deserve these things but you absolutely without a doubt do.