To the mom that thinks she’s not a good enough mom

Just one of those weeks where my mom guilt is relatively heavy. As I enter this blog post my eyes well up with tears with these sporadic feelings of distress. 

Mom guilt is the shoulds, the supposed to’s, and the other moms are… clanking around in your head as you try to make it through the day. Mom guilt has many origins, from internal conflict to societal pressures , social media, etc etc etc. 

Parenting doesn’t come with a manual well it kinda does if you’re a believer but that doesn’t negate its challenges . 

According to scripture every woman who's been blessed with motherhood should treat the role with the utmost respect and responsibility. Women play a unique role in the lives of their children which also adds to the pressure . 

It’s that heavy sigh of feeling like you’re  just not good enough – that’s what I feel at times. You wouldn’t see it. You’d probably see the outer version of me.

Us moms? We’re really really good at hiding those feelings. I don’t ever run into another mom  and think whoa she’s struggling today. Nope. We’re all masters at keeping it together. And don’t get me wrong – that’s not bad. We do that for our kids. But inside, somedays, if you’re like me you carry this extra weight and burden and worry about just not being good enough. And maybe you don’t even worry, but maybe, just like me it’s that little silent voice that whispers you messed up or why did you do that or why can’t you be better and it just leaves you and me with that heavy not good enough feeling.

There are nights where I just stare at my kiddos and wail from fear that I’m not doing this right.  I don’t want to be the reason my child has any childhood trauma (God forbid ) or hate me for their upbringing/childhood but then I remember 2 Corinthians 12:9. 

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 

I don’t have to do it alone; I don’t have to rely on my own strength and understanding . I must yield to the Holy Spirit to teach , help  and convict me.  The good lord that blessed me with these children will also equip me to raise and provide for them. I do a lot of praying too that tends to calm my spirit down and since I actually enjoy praying it makes it that much easier to go before the throne of grace and lay it all at his feet. 

Also make an effort to regularly acknowledge the good things surrounding you: from your cup of tea, to a cozy blanket, to even that child who was driving you up the wall five minutes ago, but is now sweetly sitting in a little spot on the floor. Notice those brief pleasantries and give thanks for them. Though it is wrought with pain from the curse of the fall (Genesis 3:16), the woman’s role in bringing forth life is a true honor, and one that deserves our utmost gratitude.

If you’re anything like me read these scriptures for comfort and guidance 

Deuteronomy 6:6-7: Teach them the commandments. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Jeremiah 1:5 - “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” It alleviates the pressure when I read this scripture knowing the lives of my children are already mapped out and I just have to submit to the will of God (you’ll know his will when you read the Bible ) and let his will be done.

Isaiah 54:13- “All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace

Proverbs 29:16- “Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad.”

Philippians 1:6- “And so I am sure confident that God, who began this good work in you, will carry it on until it is finished on the Day of Christ Jesus.”

If I’m able to evangelize to my children where they accept Christ as their lord and savior then I’ll gladly consider my role as a parent an absolute success for the lord has already done it . 

Also let’s honestly self assess : it’s possible to experience guilt because you are indeed being neglectful , inattentive etc 

So it’s imperative to determine if these thoughts are simply fleeting or indeed factual. If there are actually factual then kudos to you for identifying it now let’s create an active plan to work on it .