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Laughed through the pain

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2021 literally chewed me up and spat me out. The most trying time of my life without a shadow of a doubt.   To say it was a dark time in my life would  certainly be an understatement.  I don’t think words can fully convey how Rough it was. Words cannot begin to expound on my experience.  I vividly remember feeling like my entire world was falling apart yet I was still expected to function as a mom , employee , daughter , entrepreneur , sister etc  I could be in a room full of people yet feel extremely lonely and unseen .  To make matters worst , you see the uncomfortable stares and  hear the whispers, murmurs at certain functions .  You want nothing more than to desperately defend/explain yourself yet you’re advised and convicted to attain the maturity to remain still and quiet . It makes you feel defeated , Violated and robbed of your peace and dignity. It feels as though a piece of my soul was violently ripped out of me. I will neve...
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Is the first year of marriage the hardest ??? 

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Is the first year of marriage really the hardest? The answer varies from one married couple to another, but most couples would agree it’s one of the hardest years of marriage. I however beg to differ ; I believe it’s an old myth that has permeated our society. Since people have accepted this myth as fact they often times live by it. Needless if you expect it to be difficult , guess what it will be . Don’t forget life and death lies in the tongue. This is how it usually unfolds When problems/crises arise you won’t make a conscious effort to fix it. Why?  because "it’s suppose to be hard" so why even bother ? Why bother to make amends?, why be intentional , why bother to apologize? , why bother to care ?, why bother to makeup, why bother to compromise? Why bother ?  You’re okay with tension and u rest in your home. I would like to ask why did you bother to get married in the first place if you had no real intention of fighting/ working for it? **Well that’s a convers...
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DOUBTS

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 You know that voice in your head that says… You can’t do it. You’ll never be  good enough . You’re going to fail. This voice taunts you whenever you set a goal. It criticizes you when life gets difficult. It beats you down when you struggle to stand up against its running commentary. You're not alone  I experience self doubt more often than not . It is awful , I am my own worst critic. I have this terrible habit of doubting myself. My worst fear is not "making" it so I tend to overwhelm myself when not warranted. My fear of failure probes me to over exert myself and that's not entirely healthy . At one point or another, we all question whether or not we are doing enough, making enough money, or if we are going to be “successful” enough. I know this firsthand, as I’ve spent long periods of my young adult life in a persistent state of  fear and self-doubt . Ive held onto jobs, toxic relationships, and draining friendships because I thought that if I left the...
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