Becoming, Out Loud A Year of Trying New Things

 This year, I am choosing newness not in a loud or performative way but in a quiet and intentional one.

For a long time, I have lived responsibly. I have shown up for others. I have planned, managed, carried, and poured. Somewhere along the way, curiosity took a back seat. Joy became something I promised myself one day.

This year, I decided that one day is now.

I am making plans too learn to tap dance not because I want to be good at it but because I want to remember what it feels like to be a beginner. To let my body move without needing to impress anyone. To make noise, miss steps, and still come back.

I will be attending plays, musicals, comedy shows, and operas. Sitting in rooms where art is alive. Letting myself be stirred, amused, challenged, and inspired. Sometimes I will go with friends. Sometimes I will go alone. Both matter.

I am also caring for parts of myself I used to ignore. Addressing insecurities instead of pretending they do not exist. Microneedling. Lip blushing. Braces. Not as acts of vanity but as acts of honesty. I am learning that wanting to feel good in your skin does not require justification.

Every other month, I will try a new hairstyle. Not as a reinvention but as exploration. A quiet reminder that I am allowed to change. To experiment. To soften and sharpen as I see fit.

Creatively, I am stepping forward in ways that scare me. Hosting a mom conference. Showing up for book signings. Talking openly about my writing and creative process. The messy notes. The false starts. The moments when doubt almost wins. I am learning that sharing the process is just as important as sharing the finished work.

And then there is travel. A solo birthday trip chosen deliberately. Not to prove independence but to honor wholeness. I will also travel with girlfriends and with my kids. Making memories across states and countries. Letting movement remind me that life is expansive.

This journey will not be perfectly documented. Activities will take place when possible. What I share will be as authentic as possible. Some moments will stay private. Some will be shared quietly without explanation.

This is not a rebrand.
It is not a challenge.
It is not a performance.

It is a becoming.

And for the first time in a long time, I am letting myself enjoy the process.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Laughed through the pain

Image
2021 literally chewed me up and spat me out. The most trying time of my life without a shadow of a doubt.   To say it was a dark time in my life would  certainly be an understatement.  I don’t think words can fully convey how Rough it was. Words cannot begin to expound on my experience.  I vividly remember feeling like my entire world was falling apart yet I was still expected to function as a mom , employee , daughter , entrepreneur , sister etc  I could be in a room full of people yet feel extremely lonely and unseen .  To make matters worst , you see the uncomfortable stares and  hear the whispers, murmurs at certain functions .  You want nothing more than to desperately defend/explain yourself yet you’re advised and convicted to attain the maturity to remain still and quiet . It makes you feel defeated , Violated and robbed of your peace and dignity. It feels as though a piece of my soul was violently ripped out of me. I will neve...
Read more

Is the first year of marriage the hardest ??? 

Image
Is the first year of marriage really the hardest? The answer varies from one married couple to another, but most couples would agree it’s one of the hardest years of marriage. I however beg to differ ; I believe it’s an old myth that has permeated our society. Since people have accepted this myth as fact they often times live by it. Needless if you expect it to be difficult , guess what it will be . Don’t forget life and death lies in the tongue. This is how it usually unfolds When problems/crises arise you won’t make a conscious effort to fix it. Why?  because "it’s suppose to be hard" so why even bother ? Why bother to make amends?, why be intentional , why bother to apologize? , why bother to care ?, why bother to makeup, why bother to compromise? Why bother ?  You’re okay with tension and u rest in your home. I would like to ask why did you bother to get married in the first place if you had no real intention of fighting/ working for it? **Well that’s a convers...
Read more

DOUBTS

Image
 You know that voice in your head that says… You can’t do it. You’ll never be  good enough . You’re going to fail. This voice taunts you whenever you set a goal. It criticizes you when life gets difficult. It beats you down when you struggle to stand up against its running commentary. You're not alone  I experience self doubt more often than not . It is awful , I am my own worst critic. I have this terrible habit of doubting myself. My worst fear is not "making" it so I tend to overwhelm myself when not warranted. My fear of failure probes me to over exert myself and that's not entirely healthy . At one point or another, we all question whether or not we are doing enough, making enough money, or if we are going to be “successful” enough. I know this firsthand, as I’ve spent long periods of my young adult life in a persistent state of  fear and self-doubt . Ive held onto jobs, toxic relationships, and draining friendships because I thought that if I left the...
Read more