BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

Just one of those weeks where my mom guilt is relatively heavy. As I enter this blog post my eyes well up with tears with these sporadic feelings of distress.  Mom guilt is the shoulds, the supposed to’s, and the other moms are… clanking around in your head as you try to make it through the day.  Mom guilt has many origins, from internal conflict to societal pressures , social media, etc etc etc.  Parenting doesn’t come with a manual well it kinda does if you’re a believer but that doesn’t negate its challenges .  According to scripture every woman who's been blessed with motherhood should treat the role with the utmost respect and responsibility. Women play a  unique role in the lives  of their children which also adds to the pressure .  It’s that heavy sigh of feeling like you’re  just not good enough – that’s what I  feel at times.  You wouldn’t see it.  You’d probably see the outer version of me. Us moms? We’re really really goo...

Sha ring a title of an Entrepreneur and Mother is difficult to say the very least, and there definitely isn’t a specific manual to make it work. So throw being a good mother in that mix. If only half businesses make it through, that means half of them fail. Starting a start-up company is one of the hardest things you will ever do. (talk about the start up cost, the time invested to perfect everything, time away from family etc etc etc).  Motherhood is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. So what happens when you choose not one, but two careers doing the toughest jobs there are? A lot happens....A WHOLE LOT !!! Accept the fact that there  is  no work-life balance.  I’ve learned to embrace the fact that there is no family/work separation. Just like being a parent isn’t a 9-to-6  job, neither is being an entrepreneur. While I’m on the road at 6 am to my full time job , I’m also on the phone sending text messages , emails , to do lists to hubby etc, I...

                    My husband and I got married on May 12th of 2018; we were more than ready and thrilled to expand our family. However, it didn't happen as quickly as we had hoped therefore we took it into prayer asking our heavenly   father to bless us with the fruit of the womb before the year ended. Our expectation was to conceive before the year ended. That was more so , my husband's request; my attitude was more so lord whenever you see fit let it be done. My husband however said no, before the year ends we will get pregnant.         After countless pregnancy tests; they all came back negative. In addition to already feeling discouraged; it didn’t make the process any easier when church members (especially) , and peers would inquire when we planned on expanding our family and how they felt it was a bad idea to wait too long to have children.  Now the seed had been planted ; here I am constantl...

Sleep is a thing of the past ; there are days where I’m up 24 hours straight because Eira would much rather play than sleep at night . Sometimes she’s up til  6am  and I have to be at work for  7. Surprisingly I’ve grown accustomed to functioning on zero sleep 🤷🏽‍♀️   I was unaware of the ins and outs of FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Act ), short term disability, maternity leave etc . I I ran out of PTO prior to my maternity leave due to the countless hospital visits therefore during my leave I had to pay for my insurance out of pocket. Thankfully I had enrolled in short term disability therefore I received a lump sum of money 2 weeks after delivery. However , that money wasn’t enough to cover my monthly bills , health insurance etc so I had to dip into our savings. I spent approximately 10k while out on maternity leave for 3 months . (It covered Eira and l’s health insurance , deductible for labor ,  weekly appts to the Eira’s doctor , formula etc etc ) ....

I am blessed to find a man that loves me for me Without sounding sappy, I can honestly say that true love has found me. Notice I did not say: “I have found true love”. When HE came into my life, I wasn’t looking I was FARRR from looking! I have had my fair share of horrible dates, broken hearts, etc. I can assure you I wanted nothing to do with men. I even considered being a lesbian. True story! I hate to be so cliché, but it’s true. You always find something or someone when you least expect it. Anyone who has been single for a while knows it’s NOT easy. However, at the same time, singlehood can be a great time for self-reflection. During my looonggg season of  singleness, I learned one of the most valuable lessons of my LIFE! We must learn to LOVE OURSELVES before we can love or receive someone else’s love effectively. This is especially hard for women, since we can be so critical towards other women, and especially towards ourselves. Furthermore, these criticisms warp into lies, ...

Is the first year of marriage really the hardest? The answer varies from one married couple to another, but most couples would agree it’s one of the hardest years of marriage. I however beg to differ ; I believe it’s an old myth that has permeated our society. Since people have accepted this myth as fact they often times live by it. Needless if you expect it to be difficult , guess what it will be . Don’t forget life and death lies in the tongue. This is how it usually unfolds When problems/crises arise you won’t make a conscious effort to fix it. Why?  because "it’s suppose to be hard" so why even bother ? Why bother to make amends?, why be intentional , why bother to apologize? , why bother to care ?, why bother to makeup, why bother to compromise? Why bother ?  You’re okay with tension and u rest in your home. I would like to ask why did you bother to get married in the first place if you had no real intention of fighting/ working for it? **Well that’s a convers...