BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

Staying in a relationship longer than warranted is a prison sentence. it's neither love nor is it loyalty . It's just stupid . The excuses most women use , "it's been so long , I can't walk away now".  If you're unhappy in a situation , do yourself the favor by removing yourself . Why are you enslaved by guilt to stay where you clearly don't belong or better yet where you're not appreciated ...  You're in the love with the memories not the man . You're in love with the time you invested , you in love with "what could have been" , you're in love with the potential that he has but chooses not to act on , you're in Iove with the idealized version of him not the real him , you're in love with ..... The fear of being alone so instead you stick around in hopes that things will somehow fall into place . How does that happen if the foundation & the entire journey has been rocky ? The blueprint was never laid out so eventua...

I will be disclosing this information with an upcoming interview . I will post the video once and if everything goes accordingly . It's still in the works !!! Depending on the timing , I might have to post/disclose it upon my return. Hopefully not , we'll just have to wait and see how things pan out 😘😘😘✌️✌️✌️

 You know that voice in your head that says… You can’t do it. You’ll never be  good enough . You’re going to fail. This voice taunts you whenever you set a goal. It criticizes you when life gets difficult. It beats you down when you struggle to stand up against its running commentary. You're not alone  I experience self doubt more often than not . It is awful , I am my own worst critic. I have this terrible habit of doubting myself. My worst fear is not "making" it so I tend to overwhelm myself when not warranted. My fear of failure probes me to over exert myself and that's not entirely healthy . At one point or another, we all question whether or not we are doing enough, making enough money, or if we are going to be “successful” enough. I know this firsthand, as I’ve spent long periods of my young adult life in a persistent state of  fear and self-doubt . Ive held onto jobs, toxic relationships, and draining friendships because I thought that if I left the...

Hmmmm now this should be interesting. I don't know the number of women that will openly admit that they have once been the "other woman" Now let's not get ahead of our selves , let me explain myself  . For those that are familiar with the popular reality show love and hip hop NY. Well my situation was very similar to that of Tara , petter gunz and Amina . Where I went from being the "main chick" to the "side chick " I know what most of you thinking , "Are you freaking kidding me ?" When I look back , I ask myself the same question. I can't believe I accepted and lived such a dilemma. It's so surreal, you know it’s wrong, you know your world will be shattered, but you do it anyway. You convince yourself that since you are not the one cheating, it’s okay. You convince yourself that all the “I care about you’s/I love you too's” and all the open-ended promises actually mean something. It’s a fairytale; a world that you’ve created ...

This piece was inspired by a conversation I had with a friend over the weekend & I'm certain most of you can relate .  "He doesn't love me as much as I love him " Loving someone whom doesn't love you back has got to be the most hopeless feeling in the world because it's out of  your control. Then again , this is exactly what you need to move on with your life . Affection and love should never be chased . If it's not given freely then it's not worth having. It's not your fault , that one doesn't appreciate your presence or better yet value you . The Only thing left for you to do is move on ..  These are a few tips that might aid in the process :  Be honest with yourself . How and why you feel about another says a lot about you. How and why the other person feels about us says a lot about them. It is important to let it sink in deeply that the person being loved does not love back. It hurts. Feel it. Allow yourself to grieve. You do not have ...

Romance ... Just what everyone needs...right? The Valentine's Day marketing machine and the quest for social acceptance can make "Singles Awareness Day" dreary or even cruel if you're alone, whether by choice or by circumstance. It's hard to see what else life has to offer when you're bombarded with romantic comedies on TV, flowers, romance novels and cutesy heart-shaped trinkets in the stores, and never-ending drippy advertisements and event announcements. Here are a few suggestions below made by some fantastic thoughtful ladies on how to spend the day if you're single.   "Organize a Secret Admirers gifting sesh , à la Secret Santa: You and a group of friends draw names and then deliver items like chocolates, flowers, and teddy bears to each other. That way everyone can have a Valentine"...  - Mary  "Since you aren’t spending your dough on some dude, might as well spend it on yourself. Give yourself some credit for how amazing you are and  ...

Another old piece 

The dating world has been quite generous to me . In the past , I have gone on fruitless dates to purposely kill time or merely out of boredom.  I went on a date today and surprisingly I had a great time. No , it wasn't at some lavish restaurant, he didn't buy me expensive gifts, and even though it was a very simple first date, out of all the first dates I've ever had, this one has been the most meaningful to me.  We met on Facebook , exchanged numbers. We had been texting for a few days before we decided to finally meet. Our texting conversations were very substantial and interesting . We  happened to click instantly . I could comfortably share information with him without feeling pressured or judged. Our first date was not nerve racking at all. We went to a coffee shop on Shrewsbury street . We sat there for hours and conversed about everything & anything that came to mind. It was very refreshing. We conversed about a series of things . We took his car since he ...

Matters of the heart can be such a touchy subject especially if the party involved has yet to fully heal from a past failed relationship.  When you let go of the past & allow yourself to feel and love again. it's the best thing that will ever happen to you . It's very much rewarding & fulfilling . Not everyone  you meet is out to get you. This photo speaks volumes as it depicts enhancing/uplifting and healing . Healing is a matter of giving yourself a second chance and opportunity to love again . Let someone in , it's a journey worthwhile .. You wont regret it  !!!!! 

"Colorism" -  Discrimination based on skin color , it  is a form of   prejudice  or discrimination   in which human beings are treated differently based on the social meanings attached to skin color. It  Is an uprising epidemic , To witness People being judged based on the color of their skin & Others in capability of seeing the beauty In their skin tone is quite sad. Comments such as, “You’re pretty ... for a dark skinned girl” or “I hope the baby comes out light” all contribute to this despicable dynamic. Historically,  just through observation we’ve seen that people with more European aesthetics and phenotypes were getting more privileges in society. It's something that we have definitely internalized .  Type dark skin or light skin into Twitter and you will see Colorism in  action. One tweet: "Party on Friday. White Girls free. Light skin girls 5dollars. 50 dollars for dark skin girls". Another: "I thought cute dark skin girls with lo...

Everything was great when we first started dating . Never thought I would see the day where both our hearts are breaking .  So I'm drinking every weekend speaking sober thoughts ... Staring at my phone wondering if I should call to tell you how I feel since the pain still hasn't healed .. Everything feels out of place I think a part of me was killed when I let you go thinking we could take it slow .  One month passes and you already found another chick to hold ... I should have known . You're in college right ? You probably met her at some freaking party right ? I saw it coming but chose to ignore it . In hopes that we could find love and restore it . But you went out exploring and I'm sitting back , thinking . How did things change ? There's not a thing you can do about it but take the blame for all the bullshit that you provided. I can't deny it , I made my mistakes but I was trying to fix them now it's too late . But I guess this is it , my final words to...

Look me in my eyes and tell me what you see ?  I'll tell you what you see  You'll see a young woman conflicted and wavering in her decisions  A girl praying to God to please devour her of all her enemies  A girl that feels broken and lost  A girl suffering from a bullet wound A girl that wants the world but feels rejected by the world A girl that's on the verge of giving up A girl that yearns for love and acceptance   

Women are natural nurturers so naturally we nurture our pain . Unfortunately, our pain manifests into sexuality. We yearn for that one person to COMPLETE us and make us whole .  Jumping from bed to bed in hope of gaining acceptance and unconditional love .  Little do you know , the love you are searching for in fact does come with conditions .  When you focus on yourself , you get focused on .  You should focus on him enhancing you spiritually , mentally and emotionally as opposed to him just stroking you intimately.  MAKE yourself WHOLE before you appear as a HOE to the rest of the world. My pain didn't manifest into sexuality . However , it manifested into anger and bitterness . I became a man eater .. I was a savage, I would demolish any man that crossed my path. First I would gain their trust then gradually convince them that they were the epitome of my world (thickest bullshit ever ) . As long as there was no physical contact , I had the upper hand aka leve...