Guilt

April 7th 2012, someone close and dear to my heart passed away. He was involved in a car accident that instantly took his life. He was my uncle ... Everyone called him bishop , I call him Willis. Willis was more so like the big brother , I always wanted but never had. He showed me crazy love even when I didn't deserve it. We had our fair share of arguments because We are very similar, we are both stubborn. We think we know it all , we are crazy passionate about life and most importantly we had each other's back no matter what. His passing made me question life, my purpose , my mortality, it made me question myself as a whole . I felt very guilty after his death. I felt like I didn't spend enough time with him. Here I am investing time & emotion into someone who says they care about me but I don't sense it as opposed to spending time with someone I knew without a doubt cared and loved me. That's where I feel like i messed up . I know i shouldn't feel this way but i can't seem to shake it off. I can picture his face with nothing but disappointment plastered all over it . There's a lot I wish I could say to him but I know he's already aware. I take comfort in knowing that i have gained an angel whom is constantly watching over me.